The holidays can bring joy and celebration — but they can also be challenging, especially when facing grief, financial stress, toxic family dynamics, or professional demands. For women of color, the pressures of the season often intersect with unique cultural expectations and emotional complexities.
But the holidays are also a time to reflect, connect, and celebrate — and no matter what obligations you have, you deserve a little holiday magic, too. Even if you have to make it happen for yourself, do things differently, or say “no” in ways you never imagined you would.
This year, embrace self-care as an act of radical self-love. We’ve put together a plan to help you navigate the season with grace, authenticity, and strength, no matter what challenges you’re facing.
1. Navigating Toxic Family Dynamics
The holidays can bring joy, but they can also stir up complicated emotions. This is especially true when family dynamics include unresolved conflicts or differing values. It’s okay to protect your peace by setting boundaries. Instead of gritting your teeth around people who stress you out, prioritize time with those who bring positivity into your life.
If difficult conversations arise, remember you don’t have to engage in debates or defend your choices. It’s not selfish to step away or say no — it’s an act of self-preservation. As coach and OMNoire Retreat Leader Bridgette Simmonds reminds us:
Carry the Serenity Prayer as a mantra when you head into spaces you might experience stress and overwhelm: ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’ And always remember your peace and serenity is within your power to feel. Claim it!
Try this:
Create a plan for navigating family gatherings:
- Identify a supportive person who can be your ally during challenging moments.
- Practice redirecting uncomfortable conversations with phrases like, “Let’s talk about something else — how have you been?”
- Plan a self-care activity after the gathering, like taking a long bath or journaling about your feelings.
Journaling Prompts:
- What boundaries can I set to feel emotionally safe at family events?
- Who in my family brings me joy, and how can I prioritize time with them?
- How can I care for myself before, during, and after family gatherings?
Affirmation:
“I have the right to protect my energy and create a safe space for myself.”
2. Coping with Grief During the Holidays
The holiday season can be bittersweet if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. Traditions may feel empty, or the absence of someone special may feel overwhelming. Know that it’s okay to grieve in your own way — whether that means stepping away from usual celebrations or creating new traditions that honor their memory.
You don’t have to carry your grief alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to share your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel joy and sadness simultaneously — grief and celebration can coexist.
Try this:
Create space for remembrance and healing:
- Light a candle or display a photo of your loved one during celebrations.
- Share stories or memories about them with trusted friends or family.
- Dedicate time to journaling, painting, or another creative outlet to process your emotions.
Journaling Prompts:
- What traditions or memories bring me comfort when I think of my loved one?
- How can I honor their memory in ways that feel meaningful?
- What moments of joy can I create for myself this season?
Affirmation:
“It’s okay to grieve and find moments of joy this season. Both are acts of love.”
3. Thriving While Single During the Holidays
The holidays can feel isolating if you’re single, especially when you’re surrounded by imagery that celebrates romantic relationships or nuclear families. It’s natural to feel a sense of longing or even sadness. It’s easier said than done, but try reclaiming this season as an opportunity to reconnect with yourself in meaningful ways. After all, time off at the end of the year can be a special gift just for you (and the easiest way to save money on a trip is to go solo, you feel me??)
Instead of focusing on what’s missing, celebrate what’s already abundant in your life: your unique journey, the love you share with friends and family, and the chance to create traditions that reflect your needs and desires. Remember, your worth isn’t defined by your relationship status — it’s rooted in who you are and the value you bring to the world.
Certified wellness practitioner and OMNoire Retreat Leader Dr. Dahna Batts has a simple but joyful practice for holiday parties:
I bring a bottle of one of my favorite sparkling wines to every gathering. That way, I can enjoy sharing my passion with friends and family.
Consider adopting a small tradition like this to bring lightness and fun to the season.
Try this:
Design a holiday ritual just for you:
- Write a letter of gratitude to yourself, reflecting on the growth and resilience you’ve shown this year.
- Create a vision board for the life you want to cultivate, focusing on joy, connection, and fulfillment.
- Plan an activity that feels indulgent, like a spa night at home or a solo trip to a local event you’ve been curious about.
Journaling Prompts:
- What makes me feel most alive and joyful during the holidays?
- How can I create a holiday season that celebrates my individuality?
Affirmation:
“I am whole, worthy, and committed to creating joy in my own life.”
4. Managing Financial Stress
For many, the holidays come with financial pressures — from buying gifts to attending events and contributing to group celebrations. If you’re feeling the strain, know that your love and presence are more valuable than anything money can buy. A holiday filled with warmth and meaning doesn’t have to come with a high price tag.
Start by redefining abundance. It’s not about how much you spend but how you show up and share your energy with others. Focus on creating meaningful experiences and connections, whether through thoughtful gestures or simply being present for loved ones. It’s okay to say no to expenses that stretch you beyond your comfort zone.
Try this:
Take control of your holiday spending with intentional planning:
- Set a realistic budget for gifts and activities, and stick to it.
- Explore creative, low-cost gift ideas like personalized playlists, handwritten letters, or baked treats.
- Propose budget-friendly alternatives for group celebrations, like a potluck or a Secret Santa with spending limits.
Journaling Prompts:
- How can I celebrate abundance in ways that don’t involve money?
- What acts of kindness or creativity can I share with loved ones this season?
Affirmation:
“My presence, care, and loving attention are the most valuable gifts I can give.”
5. Balancing Work and the Holidays
For those working through the holidays — whether as an entrepreneur, healthcare worker, or someone in retail or hospitality — the season can feel relentless. When time off isn’t an option, it’s vital to weave moments of rest and celebration into your routine, however small.
Recognize your limits and communicate them when possible. Even brief moments of joy — like listening to your favorite song on a break — can restore a sense of balance. You deserve to celebrate the season in ways that fit your reality.
As clinical hypnotherapist and OMNoire Retreat Leader Billé Frazier shares:
I prioritize my self-care by listening to my body and resting when I need to — not only during the holidays. I can’t give from an overflow if I’m physically exhausted.
Try this:
Incorporate small but intentional self-care practices into your workday:
- Start your morning with an uplifting playlist, mantra, or five minutes of mindful breathing.
- Carry snacks, comforting scents, or a small token of positivity to keep you grounded during long shifts.
- Plan a post-holiday treat for yourself, like a staycation, home cleaning, or dinner with loved ones, to look forward to after the rush.
Journaling Prompts:
- How can I integrate moments of rest into my work routine?
- What small joys can I celebrate, even during busy periods?
- What can I plan for myself to look forward to after the holidays?
Affirmation:
“I am worthy of rest and celebration, no matter how full my plate may be.”
6. Navigating Social Anxiety at Gatherings
Social gatherings can be overwhelming, especially if you’re navigating anxiety or dealing with seasonal depression. The noise, crowded spaces, and pressure to engage in small talk can leave you drained. It’s important to know that you don’t have to power through discomfort. Instead, approach gatherings with intention and self-compassion.
Give yourself permission to attend only what feels manageable. Prepare ahead by identifying grounding techniques, supportive allies, or ways to take breaks. Remember, your value isn’t tied to how social you are — it’s okay to honor your own boundaries and needs.
Try this:
Make a personalized “anxiety toolkit” to bring to gatherings:
- A grounding object, like a small stone or charm, to hold during moments of unease.
- A calming playlist or app for deep breathing exercises you can access discreetly.
- A list of conversation starters or joyful moments from your year to share when small talk feels tough.
Journaling Prompts:
- What environments or people help me feel at ease during the holidays?
- How can I advocate for myself and my needs at social gatherings?
Affirmation:
“I am enough, just as I am. My comfort matters, and I honor my boundaries.”
Remember this:
Self-care is more than a buzzword. It’s a way to honor yourself, your journey, and your needs. By setting boundaries, embracing rest, and approaching challenges with compassion, you can create a season filled with peace, connection, and authenticity. And that’s certainly worth celebrating.
Remember: your peace is sacred. Your joy is worthwhile. And your experience matters.
May you honor your light, protect your energy, and enter the new year with intention and grace.
